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The rhythm climaxes, like pulsating souls.
©2007-2009 =Itti
:iconitti:

Author's Comments

Another six-word story.
I was sat in a tent listening to some drumming (on natural drums, of course, not drum kits) and this kind of came into my head, well the second phrase did and I teased out the first.

The only word I'm not sure about is "climaxes". I wanted something more to mean something like "crescendos" but I didn't like that. Or perhaps climaxes goes with the souls bit. I'm not sure.

Let me know what you think.


You can see more of my literature here.

Comments


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:iconbeccalicious:
The only thing I would considering changing is 'climaxing' to 'climax', but thats up to you :)

Have you seen *Iscariot-Priest's 6 word story contest? You should enter- it has to be funny though!

--
"You cannot teach a man anything;
you can only help him to find it within himself"



=DailyDeviants *WordCount *WritersForArt
:iconitti:
I'm confused. At the moment it's 'climaxes'. The other two don't make sense, or you'd need more words or something.

I've seen it, yeah, but not come up with anything very impressive so far.

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:icondiurasc:
It's interesting; it doesn't quite do what I think you set out to do, but it still works.
:iconitti:
Interesting. What do you mean by that?

--
No trees were killed in the sending of this message. However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

Give and receive art: Secret Santa 09
ALL abilities, ALL media welcome!
:icondiurasc:
It's coherent, but I don't really feel it; that's the only way I can think to put it. I see the word ';pulsating', but the story itself doesn't pulsate - but in only six words I guess that's a near-impossible ask.
:iconwhangel:
I like the word climaxes in this. I think it fits with the part about the souls pulsating. It's like they are rises and eventually reach a climax.

Again, very nicely done. :heart:

--
Mythology is psychology misread as biography.-Joseph Campbell

Browse my :gallery: [link]
:iconitti:
Thank you. Some other people thought more dubiously of "climaxes" so I'm glad to hear this from you.

--
No trees were killed in the sending of this message. However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

Give and receive art: Secret Santa 09
ALL abilities, ALL media welcome!
:iconwhangel:
You're welcome ^_^

That's just the feeling I got from it, so I went with it. I'm glad that you appreciated my thoughts on the piece. :hug:

--
Mythology is psychology misread as biography.-Joseph Campbell

Browse my :gallery: [link]
:iconakacorn:
I didn't see the link to this one in your other "six words" the first time, I did the second time though.

I really like these. They are simple, sweet, and to the point.

--
:blackrose:You see things and ask, Why? :blackrose:

:rose:I dream things and ask, Why not?:rose:

--George Bernard Shaw
:iconforswornbrother86:
my only issue is that rhythm=singular, souls= plural.
however you'l probably appreciate the uselessness of this comment, as seemingly the only way to resolve it is to mke it six words.
:/
sorry for babbling
it's a nice idea otherwise though

--
To cheat and not to be found out is cunning, to cheat and be found out is simply careless.

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September 14, 2007
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